Not Even A Sausage Sizzle Will Get You My Vote!

I don’t write about politics. In fact this is the first time I ever have, so do excuse me if this sounds off-kilter and/or nonsensical. It’s just the musings of an ordinary chap who takes a moderate interest in the political landscape this country serves up. It can be said that the hypocrisy I was greeted with on Saturday forced me into this position of perplexity.

As most Australian’s will know, last Saturday, residents of Queensland took to the polls for the 2015 State Election. Upon my arrival to the polling booths I was met with the usual nonsense where those whom occupied both the left and right sides of politics waved useless paraphernalia in my face in hope to win my vote. Uselessness that no doubt cost tens of thousands of dollars to print and distribute, all from the tax payers’ back pocket, of course!

After my name was ticked off and I dropped my ballot paper in the box (contrary to most governments, I didn’t care to waste anything, despite the fact it was only a pencil’s lead; principles!), a madwoman started waving her hands at me, professing I shouldn’t miss out on my free sausage sizzle. Like it was some sort of reward for those who’d just voted, despite the fact that voting is mandatory! It’s empty reward at best, neo-blackmail at worst! I asked the lady what was so free about the sausage sizzle. Her gormless look made me even angrier. Yes, lady, the sausage sizzle was about as free as the useless paraphernalia your colleagues were attempting to throw my way sum five minutes earlier.

These points may seem trivial to most but it’s this attitude which is the root cause to a major problem and is fundamentally the reason why I refuse to cast a valid vote. Governments incessantly waste money! Our fucking money! Can one elaborate on the hypocrisy of it? Because I'm struggling! Aren’t there a thousand more feasible places to part with such funds? Like, erm… health care? Show the rest of the world we have the resources to look after each other when it counts. Is that so much to ask? Apparently, yes. Yes it is!

Onto the results....


The fact that majority of Queenslanders voted for Anastacia Palaszczuk, who most hadn’t heard of before the turn of the year, and who also couldn’t answer a simple question regarding the percentage of GST, says just about everything concerning the failures of Campbell Newman.

After losing the seat of Ashgrove to Labor’s Kate Jones, Saturday night was met with “Can Do Campbell’s” timely resignation from politics. Sunday morning came and “Can Do’s” arrival at Parliament House, Brisbane to collect his personal effects was imminent. As reporters gathered, they were met by the man himself. One question was asked and the answer typified the reasons why so many hold a fierce disdain for the man. The reporter simply asked Newman how he was. To which he jovially replied “I’m alright!”

Of course you are, Campbell. Over the past three years, you’ve probably earned four times the amount of money most in Queensland have. Of course you’re “alright!” Your response epitomised your disregard for those you claimed to lead during this time. Your preferential votes were about as bare as the office you once occupied!

On the back of the Newman implosion, I find it alarming that a quasi-nobody in Palazcuk is about to occupy such a summit. Granted, she’s be in and around the political game for some time, but even those in her own political party forecasted Palazcuk to be no more than a “night watchwoman” for this election. Her win wasn’t a win. It was more like an epic defeat on Newman’s part, to the point where Palazcuk only had to turn up. It was as if she went to the corner shop to find she’d won the lottery with a two dollar scratchy she’d received as a Christmas gift!

Is this out of the fry pan and into the fire? Maybe not, but to me it suggests ticking the ballot box of the lesser evil. We know that the LNP will always render policies where the rich prosper and the foot soldiers are left to conduct the heavy lifting. Survival of the fittest, which fails on so many levels. However, I can’t agree with those claiming the ALP isn’t a neo-conservative machine, either. Not to the great lengths of the LNP, but at a fair enough length were they, too, would never win my vote.

What do both parties have in common? How about this: they’re self-serving, treacherous naval gazers who exist to experience power. One group of people aiming to dominate another group of people. PUP, the Greens. Throw them in, too. Both as useful as screen doors on a submarine. Neither could manage a crisis even if you promised to increase their already ridiculous salaries by 10 per cent (more waste, who would’ve thought?). What about the minnow up north; the Katter Australia Party, you ask? All I’ll say is this: Robbie Katter clearly doesn’t see the irony in politics and cowboy hats. His old man is still umming and ahhing over the question of same sex marriage, but that's one for another day, isn't it Bob?

All told, I don’t believe in voting for someone so they can stop someone else from gaining or retaining power. I’m with Russell Edward Brand and Steven Patrick Morrissey on this one. If you don’t believe in the candidate, then don’t vote. Make a stand and stop subscribing to mediocrity. Isn't there too much at stake for half measures? Surely those of us lucky enough to live in a democracy should stand up for democratic principles? Believe it or not we could even do it without a “free” sausage sizzle.


By Simon K.